It’s been raining hard lately. I think, by this time, those people who are out to hit the beach for the last time this summer are dreading the incoming typhoon that just ruined their vacation. But that’s not how I feel. I just love this kind of weather. The cool breeze is so relaxing and I say it’s the perfect whether to set the mood for some thinking.
There’s so many things running on my head right now. I just got out of the hospital two days ago and I have not fully recovered yet. Last Friday, I had a very bad case of LBM and vomiting. I was dehydrated and lost consciousness when I was just about to go out for a checkup. I was admitted in the hospital for two days and the doctors told me that I have Amoebiasis. It was not too serious so there’s nothing to worry about. Thank God.
In three weeks, classes are about to start and that gives me another challenge because I’m going to study in a school that is approximately an hour and a half bus ride from home, which is very different from the five-minute school service ride that I have been used to for the past thirteen years. If you’re wondering why I chose to study in Manila, it’s because I think I’ll be able to get good quality education there. I know that there are good colleges here in Cavite, but I don’t think it will be the same. Don’t call me maarte just yet (just like some people who think I chose to study in Manila because I want to be “sosyal” and to be a so-called “lakwastera”). If you were in my shoes, regardless of the long trip and more expensive tuition fee, wouldn’t you choose to study in a good and well established college too? I was given the chance to choose the course I want to take up and choose the school that I want to study in. I’m very lucky to have been given that chance, that’s why I chose to study where I think I’ll be better off.
How I’m going to school isn’t the only thing that bothers me. I’m going to be in College, and that means the next four years will be very hard (like what my older friends say). I will face terror professors and home works and projects that will literally consume your time, even your sleeping time. The next four years will be the foundation of my career. So I better give it my all. To be honest, I know a little about college. Apart from having to bring fewer things, making your own schedule, and enjoying more freedom, I don’t know what to expect. I feel so dumb. Like I’m going to marry someone I haven’t even met. I’m scared, actually. Maybe I should talk to a Scholastican. Just to have an idea of what I should expect, right?
As I was saying a while ago, there are a lot of things on my mind. Not just about school. After graduation, I started to feel like I was parting ways with my closest friends. I was expecting that, after all, were all going to study in another school and make new friends there, but what I didn’t expect was that it would come this soon and feel this way. It’s been just a month since we last saw each other but it kinda feels like we haven’t talked for years. Like I don’t know them anymore. It’s not just because they do not have credits on their phones or they’re busy, it’s more like they have changed. I had a chance to talk to a friend and this is what she said:
So I wasn’t the only person feeling alone. Feeling the distance. Feeling forgotten. It hurts, really. We have all been together for four years, through good times and bad times, passing and failing tests, falling in love and falling out of love, all those stuff in high school. Is it really that easy to forget? One more thing that hurts me is that some of them have managed to turn the circle of friends into a smaller group. Nakakatampo. It’s like they took the opportunity brought by the distance in order to eliminate you from the group. But that’s what makes them happy, so I’ll just keep calm and carry on. I’m going to meet a lot of new people in college so I’m not going to get my hopes up.
Moving on, I have changed my blog’s layout. I wanted it to be original and well, this is the best that I can do. My love for Dianna Agron has inspired me to make this work. The line in the header is from the song “I Feel Pretty/Unpretty” from Glee. Sung by Dianna, of course. I can really relate to the message of the song - I think all girls can relate to the song. Anyway, I hope you guys like it or think it looks fine. I know it’s kinda simple, but that’s just how I want things to be.
And uhm, in relation to my last post "Thirteen Seconds", all I can say is that yes, I have been thinking a lot about him lately and I miss him. I always have.
13 comments:
nice new layout :)
don't you wanna be a dorm person? my friends and i rarely see each other nowadays. i just miss my high school days when my grades are not my priority. lol.
wish you the best in college! you'll have fun and meet lots of new friends.
Thanks for the compliment! My mom doesn't want me to stay at a dorm. She's a bit over protective. My friends are...I don't know. I'm sure I'm gonna miss HS. I love cramming for a test. Haha. Thanks. I can't wait for the classes to start! :))
I love your layout. I assure you, you won't miss highschool too much when you're already out with friends. There's a good dorm infront of St. Scho, the ICLD building, that's where I stayed before I got pregnant. It's an all girls dormitory and the people there are pretty nice. :) I hope your mom considers it though cus' there will be times that you can't come home until late at night because of a certain project or if it's raining too hard and all that. There are a lot of factors to consider and I think being in a dorm is the best shot. I can virtually tour you around Taft sometime if you want pointers. Though I'm not a scholastican, I've been where you'll be going. I could show you the best places where to eat and whatnots. I'm sure you'll enjoy college life. ;-)
This was exactly how I felt before I entered college -- dreading the professors and the amount of projects. But it's actually so much fun. You get more free time and, here, we don't really have very difficult subjects in masscomm (at least not yet, lol).
Hmm my high school friends and I still hung out together even in college. Maybe it's because we knew each other since first grade so we're all tight. Aren't some of your friends studying in Manila too?
Btw, I'm up for link exchange! I'll link you up. :)
@Patrish: Thanks! We'll see what happens on my first sem. If commuting will be too hard for me, I'm sure my mom will consider getting me a dorm. Thanks for the offer! Tell me when you're going back to school na. :D
@Joebs: I saw my subjects na, and there was not a single sign of Math. I'm so happy. :)) Anyway, what's it like to be a MassComm student?
Most of my friends are going to study in Manila but I'm the only one who is going to St. Scho.
I'll link you up now. :)
Aww. Having problems w/ friends is really hard especially in my case. But good luck! :D
I agree :) I love the weather :) I so love rainy days <3
You won't get a dorm?
anw, I feel so sad reading your thoughts about your friends and your friendship with them. Actually while reading that paragraph, Kiss The Rain is the song being played =)) oh gosh sakto. kalungkot :( You know what, if you value the moments, memories and everything you've treasured together for 4 years it won't be that easy to forget and just like put to trash those things. Maybe your barkada should see each other and have bonding before school year start. baka may prob din yung iba. have a heart to heart talk :)
And oh I'm going to share something :) I always pray to meet new friends within the first week of AY 2011-2012 so I can enjoy my college life. Yung type na kami magkakasama for the rest of our college lives HAHAHHA *crossfingers* and super maeenjoy ang company just like nung HS years ko. Though I won't forget my barkada na nakasama ko for 4 years and even my section. We still sea each other kc yung iba they'll stay in Los Baños na. We will take diff tracks now (college nga naman) won't study in the same room but one thing we inject in our heart, mind, soul and to our whole selves (lol) is to treasure the moments we've shared even if we met new friends. I just hope na maging okay na kayo :) sayang ang friendship niyo!
On the lighter note, NICE LAYIE :-bd
@Kate: Thanks. :D
@Trish: Thanks. I know, right? Four years. But I'm still hoping for the best. Baka di pa nila ako masyadong namiss. Joke! :))
I go to DLSU everyday from Bulacan! Kaya mo yan. Sanayan lang :)
I go to DLSU everyday from Bulacan! Kaya mo yan. Sanayan lang :)
@April: Everyday? Wow. Kakayanin ko Ate! :)
I hope you're health is okay na. Manila has really good schools and studying here is not being maarte. No, not at all.
Regarding friends, even though you don't see and communicate with them much lately I think that doesn't mean you're forgotten. Don't think that way :) Be positive. Though if some really do, you have to accept and just take a whole new world meeting new ones. For sure there'll be people who'll be there no matter what. And you're a neighbor! I study in CSB :) Take good care always esp in traveling. It ain't easy but you'll know it's worth it.
@Eva: Thank you! I'm getting used to the commuting part. Its a bit of a hassle but I know that it's worth it. I've seen some of my high school friends again. Were fine na. I guess I just missed them so much and I didn't realize how busy they were so I felt like I was being forgotten. And you study in CSB pala. Maybe I'll get to see you one day? :)
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