Monday, May 14, 2012

Now you're just somebody that I used to know.

The only thing I am hoping for is this: that you remember it as something special - something that was right at that time and something that made you feel happy and loved.

But I don't think you do.

Looking back at that time when you and I were so close. At that time when I sacrificed so much just to be with you. That time when all I cared about was us. I was blinded by our so-called "connection" that I didn't notice the person I was becoming. I didn't mind the opportunities I've lost. I didn't think about the consequences of the decisions I've made. All I cared about was you, us. And right now, I seriously cannot believe I did that.

Don't get me wrong, I regret nothing. And I don't despise you. It just really sucked for me to find out how everything meant nothing to you when it meant so much to me. It just really sucks to know that I gave up so much for something that not just didn't last long, but something that didn't "count" as well. I guess it was all just a game to you. I can't help but feel used. Like I was just some kind of rebound. Like "we" were just some kind of joke. It just really really really sucks.

Truth is, I've moved on. Long ago, actually. It just so happens that I've found out about this just a few days ago and it triggered my emotions; it made me remember those nights when I can barely sleep because I kept on thinking about what I did wrong, what made you leave... - thus this post. I just had to let it all out.

I have to admit, it was quite awkward to find you sobbing over a failed relationship. It doesn't oftenly happen that you're the one who gets hurt after it ends. I have no intention of offending you but I really think it's karma. You've become so uncontrollable. And insensitive, in a way. You know that, right? I just wish you can find a way to get better. Not just for that girl you love, but especially for yourself. 

(This post is no way related to the guy I was referring to here and here.)

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Viva La Vida

Hi there. It's been a year. Time flies fast, doesn't it? And oh, yes, I believe this is yet another comeback post. I've been very inconsistent, I know. I've been busy with college and I get very lazy when I have free time. Over the past year, I have tried to update this blog for about four times. I just don't know why I've kept those four posts in my draftbox. I guess I just ran out of good things to share. I did keep on blogging at Tumblr, but I somehow feel like I can't really express myself there. So here I am again, trying to revive my old blog where people who visit actually take time to read the things you post and where I'm not too shy to share what's on my mind.

Since I've been MIA for so long, I guess I owe you a recap of the things I've been up to the past eleven months. Let's put it in bullets, shall we?
  • I've met the most amazing friends ever. These girls were with me through the best and the worst times.   They keep me sane whenever I panic and stress about the smallest things.I just love them (and I miss them badly right now). <3

  • Survived NSTP. Our school has the most tiring but emotionally rewarding NSTP program. I was brought to Taguig, Pampanga, Rizal, etc. Went up to the mountains quite a few times to plant trees. Taught kids from both urban and rural communities. Did some work on the rice fields - btw, we were picking up snails on the first picture. Helped in building houses for Gawad Kalinga. Priceless, really.
  • Participated in programs that feature the things I suck at. Sports and Dancing. It's amazing how I got A- in PE for both semesters since our lessons were all about different kinds of dance. I even choreographed a couple of routines for our aerobics practical tests.
(1) College Intrams, Sept 2011. I was part of the Obstacle Relay team (because I can't play basketball, volleyball and badminton). I tried to learn how to hula-hoop since it was one of the obstacle. We lost, btw. Lol.

(2) Ball Night, March 2012. We danced to the songs from the musical/movie Mamma Mia. So much money, time and effort were put into this but sadly, we lost too. But I had fun. I never knew I could dance. (Well I still can't. But that night I had bearable dancing talent. Lol.)

  • Got to be with my forever love, Sam. Twice. In one week. I don't think I have to elaborate this. You know that we're meant to be. He is mine, and he forever will be. Okay, fine. Maybe I'm a bit possessive. ( Lol. What? Hi co-Samsters, please don't kill me. Hahahaha)

  • Got into the Dean's List for both semesters. Talk about being blessed. It was good to know that all the hard work was worth it. :)

That's about it. My summer vacation this year is just so boring. I've been stuck inside the house having a marathon of my favorite series and reading the Hunger Games trilogy. I sleep at around 3 in the morning and wake up at 12 noon. It's bad, I know. I'm still trying to look for something productive to do this May. I might go to a gym or something like that...

Viva La Vida. Yes, the Coldplay song. I've been listening to the songs of Coldplay, The Script and Maroon 5. I'm taking a break from all the loud music. Plus the lyrics of their songs are just amazing. Anyway, this is all I can post for now. It's 2 in the morning and I'm running out of things to say. I'll be back for sure. And I'll be back often. Promise. Hahaha.

P.S. you can follow this blog if you want. (I have only one follower as of the moment. Hahaha.) Just click the follow button at the side. And I still accept link exchanges too. You can just leave a comment here or a message on my tagboard. :)

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Like No One Else.

I just made a post yesterday so I think its too early to make another one, but times like this don't happen everyday, and I sure as hell don't feel this kind of happiness and excitement all the time. To be honest, I can't even breathe properly right now. My heart is racing and this unexceptionable feeling is eating me alive. Oh God. I'm making this post and I don't even know what I should write. I hope you get the idea of what I'm feeling right now. I want to share this with everyone and at the same time I don't want anyone of my friend to know about this. I'm just ranting here because as far as I know, not one of my close friends know that this site of mine exists. Hahaha. I mean, I can't blog about this in tumblr. Everyone else has one. So I'm sorry if I'm confusing you or if I'm making you think that I'm losing my mind but I just... Asdfghjkl. :) :( :) :(

I saw him again today. (Okay, so you probably know that this was the reason why I'm hyperventilating and all, right?) I think I looked at him for a split-second. I tried not to stare at him because he might see me looking at him..and that's going to be very awkward. So yeah. That's pretty much it. Asdfghjkl.

This might not happen again. And after some time I'm going to feel alone again. I'm going to miss you again. And I'm going to force myself to move again. But what the hell. All I know is that tonight, I'm going to sleep with a big smile on my face, regardless if you're not happy to see me (or you didn't see me at all).